EXPOSE | Missing Manhood
“Sons need their dad to show them how to be a man. My dad was amazing in so many ways. He taught me a lot… However, somewhere along the way, there were things that were missed in bringing me into manhood.” – B.J. Foster
EXPLORE | Plan to Arrive at Manhood
Part of me gravitated toward this topic because I have two sons that I hope grow into godly men, but the latter part of the quote above is what I’m reacting to here. There seemed to be a good start, but unfortunately, the intended destination was missed. I think it is a fair question to ask, ‘Did I successfully find manhood?’ How would we know?
No doubt there are several more characteristics than what is presented in this article from B.J. Foster, but I believe he provides 4 of the key ‘pillars’ for what it means to be a man. Whether or not this is the case with B.J. and his dad, I think we’d all probably agree that nothing good happens without a plan–and that we need to stick to it in order to realize the benefit.
EXECUTE | 4 Key Pillars for Transitioning Into Manhood
What I’m calling ‘pillars’ could serve as both a way to reflect on our own manhood, but also serve as the basis for a good plan to intentionally help others to make this essential transition. The article highlights Identity, Belonging, Voice, and Celebration.
Identity – Mr. Foster first points to being our authentic self. Knowing and understanding ourselves is certainly part of it. But we might do better to start with our identity in Christ. Do you have a firm understanding of what it means to identify with being in Christ? Conformity is certain. The question is who will we be conformed to?
Belonging – “A father is one of the most powerful factors in a son feeling worthy.” We do need to be connected, but our worth should not come from those with whom we choose to surround ourselves. If we are longing to belong, could it be because our worth is tied to a group of our peers?
Voice – confident in who God has made you to be, are you able to comfortably express or present yourself? Understanding and being comfortable with who we are allows us to speak our minds and hearts.
Celebration – where’s the party? There should be one. Intentionally celebrating having arrived at manhood should be part of the plan! At this point in your life, it might call for a conversation with your dad, or, time alone with God to receive this confirmation. If not for you, who are you aware of that might need to celebrate this milestone?
That may be this week’s challenge. Are you in a position to implement a ‘manhood plan’? To use these, and other characteristics of godly manhood, to help guide (think: our nephews, the neighborhood kids that play with ours, in addition to our sons) others toward this all-important destination?
Additional exploration:
Lessons from the Sioux in how to turn a boy into a man (article)
Boys Adrift with Dr. Leonard Sax (podcast)
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Further reading:
How to teach your son to become a godly man
