EXPOSE | Why we oppose being rebuked
“You can’t handle the truth!” – Colonel Nathan Jessup, from the movie “A Few Good Men”
EXPLORE | Open rebuke is better than hidden love
There’s no denying that “A Few Good Men” is a classic.
In this movie, you have a young military lawyer, Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee, played by Tom Cruise, assigned to defend two marines accused of murdering a fellow soldier. As Kaffee investigates the case, he discovers evidence of a cover-up and decides to confront the high-ranking officers responsible.
With Colonel Nathan Jessup on the stand, Kaffee confronts the commanding officer of the Marines by accusing him of ordering a “code red” (an unauthorized disciplinary action) that led to the soldier’s death. Jessup initially denies any involvement, but Kaffee continues to press him, demanding the truth.
Finally, Jessup explodes in anger, and, beginning with his now famous line “you can’t handle the truth!” proceeds to deliver the monologue in which he declares that his job is to “protect America’s freedom” and that Kaffee and his kind “have the luxury of not knowing what [he] know[s]”. He then admits to giving the order for the code red, effectively incriminating himself.
Ultimately, Kaffee’s rebuke leads to Jessup’s downfall. He sought justice and open rebuke led him there.
Which, is the goal by the way. Rebuke is the means, not the end.
“As Paul rebukes his opponents, he clarifies the goal (and repeats himself to be clear). “Your restoration is what we pray for” (2 Cor. 13:9). And then speaking to the whole church: “Aim for restoration” (2 Cor. 13:11). Restoration, not mere correction, is the goal of godly rebuke.”
Marshall Segal, staff writer, desiringgod.org
Proverbs 27:5 states: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”
Though it may initially seem harsh or uncomfortable–even daring, open rebuke is actually more beneficial than hidden love. This verse calls us to prioritize truth and transparency which fosters honesty and growth. It reminds us that genuine love sometimes requires us to speak difficult truths, even if it may temporarily strain the relationship. Ultimately, open rebuke can lead to greater understanding, repentance, and reconciliation.
On the other hand, hidden love, however well-intentioned, can inadvertently enable harmful behaviors or hinder personal growth. By graciously speaking the truth in love, we help people align their lives with God’s Word and experience the abundant life He intends for us. Open rebuke offers an opportunity for correction, guidance, and personal refinement.
“By openly rebuking in love, we demonstrate a commitment to truth and the spiritual well-being of others. This verse [Proverbs 27:5] serves as a reminder that true love is not merely sentimental but also seeks the sanctification of those we care about.”
John MacArthur, pastor-teacher of Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California
Rebuke is a verb that means to express strong disapproval or criticism towards someone’s actions or behavior. It involves reproaching, admonishing, or reprimanding someone for their actions in order to correct or change their behavior. A rebuke is often a direct and firm expression of disapproval, highlighting the severity or consequences of the person’s actions.
“Rebuke is a vital component of discipleship, as it helps us to grow in our faith and obedience to Christ. But it must be done in a spirit of humility and love, and always with the goal of restoring relationships and bringing about reconciliation.”
Tim Challies, author and pastor at Grace Fellowship Church in Toronto, Ontario
If rebuking someone is not simply about calling out their sin, but about helping them to see the error of their ways and encouraging them to turn back to God, how can we argue for a different approach?
My sense is that for many, the word ‘rebuke’ is similar to the word ‘sin’, in that they are both perceived as archaic and over the top. However, they are accurate. There is no hyperbole in the Bible’s use of those words. God’s Word calls it like it is.
I have to wonder if our objection to their use is more a reflection of how far we are away from the norm–the standard God has set.
EXECUTE | How to wisely, biblically, rebuke
Understanding how the Bible prescribes the approach we should take to rebuking someone dissolves any objection we would have with the word or the connotation and replaces it with a sense of purpose and urgency. Our biblically rebuking another person essentially rests on these 4 key principles:
Rebuke with gentleness and humility. John Stott wrote, “When we rebuke someone, we should do so in a spirit of gentleness and humility, realizing that we too are sinners in need of God’s grace.” Taking a moment to consider that should sober us up sufficiently before we go to the person we care for and open our mouths. Check to make sure you start with a heart of humility and compassion, not one of superiority or self-righteousness. In his article, The Biblical Way to Rebuke a Fellow Christian, John MacArthur reminds us that everything begins with prayer: before we approach the person, take time to pray for wisdom, humility, and love.
Rebuke with the goal of restoration. The goal of rebuke should always be to restore the person to a right relationship with God and others. In Galatians 6:1, the Apostle Paul said, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.” The purpose of rebuke is not to condemn or shame the person, but to help them turn away from sin and towards God.
Rebuke with the support of the Christian community. Rebuke should never be done in isolation. The community of faith does play a part in the process, to offer support and accountability to both the person rebuking and the person being rebuked. Tim Keller wrote, “The process of rebuke should always involve the wider [Christian] community so that the person being rebuked can receive support, encouragement, and accountability from others.”
Rebuke with a spirit of love. If we’re “living by the Spirit” as Paul points out in Galatians 6:1, then our motivation for rebuking should be love. Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Properly rebuking someone requires both the truth and love, because as Nancy Guthrie points out in “The Heart of Biblical Rebuke”, we want to have the “desire to serve the other person”.
Rebuking someone is not an easy task, but it is an important part of living in Christian community–and, living a life of meaningful distinction before the world. These principles lay the foundation for putting our approach to restoration into practice with wisdom, humility, and love, that, quite frankly, no one could take issue with.
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Further reading:
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