EXPOSE | “Hulk Smash!”
“Mr. McGee, Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” – Bruce Banner, in the opening sequence to the 1978 TV show, Incredible Hulk, warning Mr. McGee, the investigative journalist chasing him, that he might not want to pursue him any further
EXPLORE | Do not sin in your anger
I think we all would agree that when expressing our anger, it is better that we stop short of turning green and smashing everything. Even if we have the power to do it.
But you might say, “There are times when we need to smash things into oblivion… like, evil.”
However, it seems pretty clear that God is the only one that gets to turn green and smash things (so to speak):
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Romans 12:19
For this simple reason: if it needs doing, God knows why, when, and how to do it.
However well-intentioned we think we are, we ‘turn green’ as a first resort, typically at the wrong times, in the wrong way, with the sole purpose of just smashing our intended target.
And, like Hulk, we end up leaving extensive damage and destruction in our wake.
To further make the point, ask yourself this, on what occasion, when you responded in anger, thought “Man, I’m so glad I lost it?”
You may have picked up on this, but I’ve not been talking just about getting angry. I’m talking about when anger boils over into an emotionally-charged loss of control; when life tempts us to “Take a swing… you know you want to!” and we take the bait.
However, it may not take physical form. It could be unleashed in more “civilized ways” such as verbally, emotionally, or politically. The form our anger takes is not the point. The point is whether or not we have sinned in our anger.
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (emphasis mine)
When we crossover into this ‘hulk-ish’ state, we become a destructive tool in the hands of the Devil.
Life’s pressures come for us all, and, it can be quite a force. Since we can’t avoid the stressors in life, it is best that we gain the command of composure to become “Powerfully Poised.“
Jesus demonstrated this in John’s gospel during Passover.
The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”
John 2:13-16
Jesus was not reacting out of anger. He didn’t ‘lose it’. In His anger, He did not sin. We refer to this as ‘righteous anger’. We can know that our indignation or ‘righteous anger’ is in fact legitimate when it is directed toward what angers God. Injustice, the effects of pride, or having a lack of mercy would be instances where we should express anger. But broadly, it is out of a desire for a right heart that should warrant righteous indignation:
“And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored.”
Mark 3:5 (empahsis mine)
Anger is a powerful emotion that can either consume us or be harnessed in a healthy and constructive manner. We need to check our attitude as well as our motives while focusing on the heart before expressing our anger.
EXECUTE | Handling anger with wisdom and grace
To lessen the likelihood of turning green and smashing things, here are 4 principles that will help us handle ander with wisdom and grace:
Recognize the validity of anger
Don’t try to not be angry. Anger itself is not inherently sinful. It is a valid emotional response to injustice, evil, or personal boundaries being violated. Tim Keller expands on this by emphasizing that we channel our anger toward productive actions that seek justice while maintaining a spirit of love and grace. This is righteous indignation that does not lead to sin.
Respond, don’t react to anger
The phrase “do not let the sun go down on your anger” from Ephesians 4:26-27 highlights the urgency of resolving conflicts and seeking reconciliation before the day ends. We don’t want to let anger fester. Additionally, understanding the underlying causes of anger helps us gain clarity and awareness of our emotional triggers, empowering us to respond with wisdom. As we evaluate the causes, we also want to monitor how we express it for the danger signs of explosive outbursts, prolonged resentment, or passive-aggressive tendencies.
Exercise self-control and forgiveness
While we need to exercise self-control when experiencing anger to avoid impulsive reactions, Chuck Swindoll emphasizes the significance of forgiveness in handling anger, explaining that harboring bitterness and resentment only perpetuates the cycle of anger. The Bible provides invaluable guidance on controlling anger. It encourages us to: be slow to anger (Proverbs 14:29), let go of wrath (Psalm 37:8), and turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-40).
Engage in constructive communication
Pastor Colin Smith stresses the importance of effective communication when dealing with anger. Clear and respectful communication, using “I” statements to express emotions rather than attacking or blaming others, creates an environment of understanding and promotes constructive dialogue. D.A. Carson highlights the value of active listening and empathy in diffusing anger and fostering open communication. Developing healthy communication skills contributes to resolving conflicts and preventing anger from escalating.
Navigating anger with wisdom and grace requires self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and the application of biblical principles. Anger itself is not inherently sinful, which is why we need to learn to respond, rather than react to it, exercising self-control and leading with forgiveness which will shape the way we express our anger. Remember, controlling anger does not mean suppressing or denying it, but rather aligning it with the character and will of God so that it contributes to spiritual growth and the unity of the body of Christ.
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Further reading:
Let go of anger
What to say to an angry person instead of calm down
Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology: anger
Righteous indignation
Got Questions: anger
Photo by Caroline O’Brien on Unsplash