EXPOSE | A lie is a lie
“Human beings have a tremendous capacity for rationalization… the very thing that should have caused questions became comforting instead.” – Constance Dierickx, advisor to boards and senior executives on high-stakes decisions and in crisis
EXPLORE | How easily are you deceived?
I’m the ‘tech guy’ in our home. Of course, I’m using the word ‘tech’ somewhat broadly. Like, ‘I’m not a real tech guy, but I play one on TV.’
Every once in a while I get the question: “Should I click on this link?”
To which I lunge forward screaming, in slow motion, ‘noooooooooooo’!
I have to admit the “Nigerian prince” has become quite the convincing emailer. In fact, according to CNBC, that email scam was clearing $700k a year as of 2019. While we know not to click on the obvious, there are emails that occasionally even challenge my savvy ‘tech’ experience.
As great a maxim as ‘if it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t’ is, we are sometimes too easily fooled. Though it isn’t entirely our fault.
A Psychology Today article on Deception points out that “studies show the average person lies several times a day… more often… deployed to avoid uncomfortable situations or spare someone’s feelings.”
While it may be done out of some sense of concern for another person, that’s quite a bit of deceiving–every day. At that frequency of repetition, we’re not only going naturally get better at it and as a result, will become increasingly more difficult to detect.
Besides the fact that it seems we’re all a bunch of liars, how do we know if we’re being deceived?
Not that I’m in any way proposing you start gambling, but it is interesting to note that with regular play you can begin to spot a person’s ‘tell’. Something about how they react–or don’t–while they play cards that can reveal what they are thinking or intending to do.
Many experts propose that liars reveal themselves in “tells,” major and minor changes in body language or facial expressions. But observable signs of lying can be unreliable. Researchers do find that some people lie more than others. Studies show that children under two never lie and that lying peaks in adolescence, when social relationships take on heightened importance.
Constance Dierickx, article on Deception at Forbes.com
So, the moral of the story is that you can always trust a two-year-old, never trust a teenager, and for the rest of mankind, you don’t want to put too much credence on what it means if they blink, scratch an itch or whether or not they’re just fixing their hair. Being observant is one thing, yelling ‘liar!’ when someone rubs their nose is another.
Not only do we need to be aware of being lied to by others, probably more concerning is how we deceive ourselves.
Most people are not aware of the ways they fool themselves. But psychologists have identified many signals of self-deception. Outsize emotional reactions to present situations, behavior that is out of step with who you claim or aim to be can be indicators that we believe things about ourselves that are false or fail to believe things that are true.
Constance Dierickx, article on Deception at Forbes.com
What Constance is describing is part of the reality that our minds are a battlefield, making it necessary that we stay alert and remain on guard, but primarily because of who is behind all this lying and deceiving. We’re getting it from the inside, from the outside, and when we trace it back to its source, it leads us directly to Satan, The Father of Lies.
“The devil is a liar
Devil is a Liar by Colton Dixon
Says he can give you everything that you desire
Everything you want but you’d be playin’ with the fire…”
Satan is a pro at reflecting the light, deep deception, and manipulation. We need to pay particular attention to this because of the severity of the consequences. Satan’s single aim is to utterly destroy you by any means he is allowed. This makes guarding our hearts, minds, and souls of paramount importance.
EXECUTE | Guarding against being deceived
Let’s look at some ways we can put ourselves in the best possible position to keep from being too easily persuaded. Because as Constance Dierickx points out, “belief can be more powerful than logic.”
Prove it
In her article on Deception, Constance’s first piece of advice is to “ask yourself if there is credible evidence to support the claims you are hearing.” There should be a level of detail provided that gives you sufficient confidence in what you’re being told. Rather than trust how you feel about what they are saying, inquire about how they came to believe what they are telling you. This is where that “gambling sixth sense” might come in handy. Are they dancing around your asking them to provide proof? Does their explanation make sense? Is it too good to be true?
John says “test it”
In verse 1 of 1 John 4, John caringly prescribes what we should do with what we are told: “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God…” We need to hold up what we are being told to what God has made clear about how we are to think about what is being said and/or how we are to respond to it.
Consider the source
The wicked, sinners, and scoffers. It can seem pretty obvious who we should avoid when you use words like that to describe groups of people. But it is not always so easy, especially when it starts out subtly. Psalm 1:1-3 begins with just listening to the “wicked”, then walking with “sinners”, only to eventually find yourself seated with “scoffers”. When we are told something that we find suspicious, we need to also consider the source. Where is the information coming from? It also begs the question as to who and what we surround ourselves with. Examine both what is being said and what motivation may be behind it.
“The call is coming from inside the house.“
Back when I watched scary movies, that one line produced chills. You’re home alone, get a prank call that scares you to death only to be told that the call is being made from inside your house!! But that is what we need to face: deception can come from within.
The heart is deceitful above all things,
Jeremiah 17:9
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
It is possible that we turn on ourselves. Our hearts need to be examined along with any external deception we may perceive.
Not that we can become impenetrable, but these are a few things we can keep in mind and even practice that can improve our ability to detect and respond to deception. This follows the intention of Solomon’s command in Proverbs 4:23 regarding our need to guard our hearts. In order for us to be life-giving, we need to remain vigilant in our defense of our hearts coming under attack.
Further reading:
3 signs you’re already being deceived by the enemy
Psychology Today on Deception
4 ways to keep from being taken by a fraud
Photo by John Noonan on Unsplash